Expectations vs. Reality

Next Thursday, I’m heading down to Virginia for what’s being heralded as the Virginia Blogfest. It’s hosted by bloggers extraordinaire Chesapeake Bay Woman and Big Hair Envy, and it’s designed to bring together bloggers and commenters who’ve gotten to know – and like – each other through cyberspace. Many of us have never met “IRL” (that means “in real life”); I met CBW briefly last summer (sorry, no photos there). Nevertheless, I feel as if I already know a couple of these folks, and as the saying goes, any friend of CBW’s is a friend of mine, which means I know I’ll enjoy meeting the whole gang. The list is too numerous to link to all of ‘em here, but I’m sure my blogroll will be featuring some fresh links after next weekend.

This trip is reminding me about another trip I took to Virginia’s eastern parts. The year was 1990 and I was young and single and living it up in DC.  I had made a friend at work – let’s call her Tina.  Tina and I had been out partying a couple of times, even though she lived a commuter bus ride south of the city and I lived within walking distance of our Dupont Circle office.  As Memorial Day weekend approached, Tina asked me if I wanted to come to the beach.

“Sure, who wouldn’t?” I replied.

Tina then explained that she had a friend who lives “really close to Ocean City” and furthermore, a guy she had been dating on and off was a bouncer at one of the big meatmarket bars there, plus her aunt and cute boy cousins lived nearby, so she had “connections.” All I needed to do was bring a bathing suit, a toothbrush, split the gas money, and leave the rest to Tina. Sounded like fun! Who doesn’t love Ocean City?

WELL, you know what they say about things that sound too good to be true. It turned out, this “friend” lived on Virginia’s Eastern Shore.  Ocean City is in Maryland, but also on the Eastern Shore.  But heck, it was all the same to us – the girl from West Virginia and the girl from Pennsylvania – right? And we could stay for FREE at Tina’s friend’s place and just hop on over to OC to party our asses off!

BaybridgetunnelEleventeen hours later, after cheating death on I-95, enduring the insult that is driving around Hampton Roads, and crossing the super-long and panic-inducing Bay Bridge/Tunnel, we finally made it to the Eastern Shore.  I don’t remember the name of the town, but I do remember these key facts about Tina’s friend’s place:

  • It was close to a Rose’s department store.
  • Otherwise, it felt like it was in the middle of rural nowhere.
  • It was NOT close to any beach, let alone Ocean City, Maryland.

annotated map

Her “place” was, in fact, a trailer, in a trailer park, situated on what was once a drive-in movie theater. We dodged the old speaker-posts, hung a right at the big white screen, whose paint was peeling, passed the defunct concession stand, drove down one of the gravelly rows, and finally reached Tina’s friend’s place. 

Now, please know, I have nothing against trailers or the people who live in them. My grandma lived in one, and I have fond memories.   But they’re small.  Unless they’re double-wides, which this one was not.   They also attract tornadoes, especially when multiple trailers are clustered together, such as in a trailer park, and can anyone tell me why that is? Because seriously, if I’m going to live anywhere near where tornadoes happen, you can bet your paycheck I’m not going to shack up in a tin can.

Now where was I?… Oh YES, Tina’s friend’s trailer.

It was our expectation that her “place” was close to the beach there, as in walking-close, and a short drive to Ocean City.  The reality was that it was a couple/few miles’ drive to the beach there, and close to an hour’s drive up to Ocean City. Furthermore, our accommodations consisted of sleeping bags on Tina’s friend’s son’s bedroom floor. I don’t remember how old the son was, but Tina’s friend kicked him out of his room so we could sleep there, and I felt badly about that.  Poor kid.

Then there was the issue of the small trailer-sized bathroom, enough for a family of three, but taxed to the max by two girls who wanted to primp and spray and tease and put on makeup and shave for their Big Beach Party Weekend.

The other complicating factor was that Tina’s friend has just received some really bad news. I don’t remember now what it was – either she herself had just been diagnosed with an illness, or a close friend or family member was.  Possibly it was the Big C. Something extremely dire. So, understandably, she wasn’t in the mood to party with us, let alone host a couple of freeloading housetrailerguests. There may have been marital (or boyfriend-al?) difficulties going on, too. I don’t remember much, but I do remember feeling awfully uncomfortable with the situation. I think we even volunteered to go elsewhere, but she insisted we stay there. So we did.

In any event, we drove the whole way up to OC for the beach during the day and partied at night.   We visited Tina’s aunt, who lived just outside of OC and was a gracious host (I still have her fudge recipe!), and hung out with Tina’s cute boy cousins.  We went to the meatmarket bar and danced and drank and had a good time. Otherwise? No specific memories, other than the too-long roadtrip and the questionable, uncomfortable (physically and mentally) lodging.

* * * * *

SO THEN, here I am, thinking about this ill-fated road trip that happened 19 years ago – something I haven’t thought much about since I thanked God for my safe return from that journey.  Why? Is it because I’m preparing to head down I-95 towards the Virginia portion of the Cheasapeake Bay, to parts as-yet unseen, with someone in my car whom I’ve never laid eyes on or even spoken with?  To meet bunches of people I’ve come to know only in writing? And live with them for 72 hours??

Perhaps! But I know this: None of us is 23 anymore. Surely much more preparation and forethought has gone into the upcoming Blogfest than went into Tina’s and my ill-fated trip to “the beach.”   Plus, I’m no snob when it comes to accommodations; you’ll recall I recently shared a college dorm room with a friend, and it was perfectly fine! I’ve been adequately prepared for my accommodations Chez CBW.  I know to expect fiddler crabs and ants and a rabid goose!  The problem 19 years ago was that our expectations didn’t match the reality.

Right? Right.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to obsess over what to pack and what to wear and how to lose 20 pounds in one week and…

Ah, screw it. Who cares. Let the Blogfest begin!

Money money money

With the looming reduction in our household income, I have to say, I’m having a hissy fit conniption teensy bit of newfound anxiety over money. Or lack thereof. Seriously, we’ve never much worried about it, but today I talked myself out of an $0.85 can of Diet Coke, three different times, until I finally “indulged” myself.  Hey, big spendah!

I’m sure we’ll be able to muddle through with a combination of careful planning, strategically tapping some of our liquid assets, and slashing costs.  But until Curt finds a new job, I’m thinking we might have to come up with some creative ways to pad the checking account so we can feed the children something other than Top Ramen and store-brand white bread.

I threw the topic out to my Facebook friends for suggestions, and I give mad props to them for their input to the following list. Got any others? I”m all ears! Please leave ‘em in the comments!

StageCoachRobbery3-1911-loc-600

ROB A STAGECOACH

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ponzi scheme

ESTABLISH A PONZI SCHEME

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sweatshop-1908

CRANK OUT PIECEWORK IN A SWEATSHOP, LIKE IN OLDEN DAYS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dnews blog

BLOGGING FOR BUCKS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Collect recyclable bottles and drive them to Maine for a refund

 

MAKIN' MOONSHINE

MAKIN' MOONSHINE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

COUNTING CARDS?

COUNTING CARDS?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BECOME A COYOTE

BECOME A HELPFUL COYOTE

PROSPECTIN' FER GOLD

PROSPECTIN' FER GOLD

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

WORKIN' THE POLE

WORKIN' THE POLE (FLEXIBLE HOURS!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FLIP! THAT! HOUSE!

FLIP! THAT! HOUSE!

 

 

 

 

  

Become a “dream merchant”

  

DRILL FOR OIL ON OUR 0.87 SLICE OF AMERICA

DRILL FOR OIL ON OUR 0.87-acre SLICE OF AMERICA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Sublet rooms in our house

  

 

JOHN AND KATE PLUS EIGHT?

NEW REALITY TV SHOW: CURT AND MEG PLUS THREE BOYS PLUS TWO PETS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

bbbigstairs

Fake injury and sue people, like in that Brady Bunch episode where the guy wears the neck brace and Mike throws his briefcase in the courtroom to startle him and he jerks his neck and everyone realizes he's a big fat fraud.

If dogs could talk

BUSTER:  Pssst! Mac! Come with me!

MAC: Uh, um…. where to?

BUSTER:  Just c’mon! Hurry up! Let’s go!!

MAC: Dude. I love ya like a brother, but I need more info before I just take off. Plus, I’m tired.

BUSTER (glancing around):  No one’s looking! If we hurry, we can get out before they see us! Now, let’s GO!

MAC: Um, OK! Why not!

BUSTER (looking behind):  Get the lead out, Fatass!

MAC (panting already): Could you just… slow down… a bit… please?

BUSTER: LOOK! Water!!

MAC: Watch out for the cars, dummy! Are you trying to get us killed?

BUSTER: Look! A squirrel! And water! Yay, I love water! This is awesome!

MAC:

BUSTER: Dude! What’s wrong?

MAC: I don’t feel good about this. Maybe we should go back…

BUSTER: No! Look over here! Water! And squirrels! And…

MAC: Uh oh! Here comes a car! It’s stopping! Quick, let’s hide!

BUSTER: SHIT! SHIT! They found us!

MAC:  Give it up Buster. We are soooo screwed.

BUSTER:  Hey Lady, what’re you doing? Why are you looking at my collar?

MAC: Oh no. She got their phone number off of your tag. I told you this was a bad idea.

******

If our dog, Mac, could use words to speak with our neighbors’ younger, slimmer dog, this might have been their exchange yesterday afternoon, when they ran out of our neighborhood and down the main road, at least half a mile, to the creek bridge. A nice person stopped and phoned our neighbors, who went and retrieved our two Retrievers. Who are supposed to be doing the retrieving, not being retrieved.