You knew the follow-up was coming, didn’t you? When you read Meg behaving badly, all six of you were thinking: Well, that’s great – she made a scene at her grocery store. But sooner or later, she’s going to run out of milk, or coffee, or tampons. What happens when she returns to the scene of the crime?
Um, yeah. A better person would’ve thought about that before throwing a hissy fit over a box of cold chicken.
Well, tonight, we ran out of milk (and also tampons – but not coffee). I could have gone to a different store, but the scene-of-the-crime grocery store was advertising red raspberries mad on sale, like they were practically paying customers to take ‘em home, and nothing says “summer” like some juicy red raspberries. So, off I went, not really thinking about last week’s Fried Chicken Fracas, until…
I approached the checkout stand with my full cart. I furtively scanned the vicinity: only one lane open, and it was manned by, well, a man. Phew. But, in this store’s tradition of mostly-excellent customer service, a clerk appeared as if from the heavens and chirped, “I can take you at lane 2, ma’am!” She flashed me a Stepford Wives Smile and started dragging my cart over to her lane.
OH NO! It was my poor victim from last week. Of course it was. What should I do? I pasted a sugary smile on the outside, but inside I was in a bit of a panic. Should I apologize for having been such an asshole? Maybe she doesn’t remember me; after all, I didn’t have the kiddo with me tonight. No; something in her smile made me think that she did, in fact, recognize me as the Mom Who Was Way Outta Line In Her Line. Should I pretend? Yes, that’s what I should do – I’ll pretend like it’s my first time ever at this store! That I just moved here, from, like, Idaho! Yes, that’ll keep her guessing! Smile, smile, smile.
She scanned my loyalty card and asked if plastic bags were ok today (”of course!”). Then she asked the money question –
(wait for it…)
“Did you find everything you were looking for today, ma’am?”
YOU BET, I SURE DID! WAIT – LET ME CHECK MY LIST – YEP, YEP, I SURE DID FIND EVERYTHING I CAME HERE FOR TODAY! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING! WHAT A GREAT SALE ON THOSE BERRIES, HUH?
She smiled, smiled, smiled at me.
I smiled, smiled, smiled right back at her.
She finished scanning and announced my loyalty card savings (WOW, THAT’S GREAT, THANK YOU!) and told me to have a nice evening (WHY THANK YOU, YOU DO THE SAME!).
I think I escaped undetected.
But just in case – I bought a year’s supply of tampons.
Smile, smile, smile.
Filed under: Old enough to know better, small world | Tagged: behaving badly, follow-up, grocery store, smile, tampons
Fried Chicken Fracas….love that. I’m going to use that one the next time we hit the KFC buffet.
I think you escaped undetected too. She didn’t sound bright enough to remember what she ate for breakfast, much less who she “fracased” with last week.
Right. That’s exactly what happened. Me, the boys and Meg ran out of tampons.
If you want to make her week next time, go buy twice as many tampons, a chocolate bar as big as your head, and the closest thing to heroin you can buy over-the-counter.
You’ll be even.
Great stories, Miss Soup — loved both parts!