I’M DONE. Today’s weather? Fifty degrees and rainy. AGAIN. And it’s TAX DAY! It’s been Spring on the calendar for a good three weeks now. Almost four. Please, April, rescue us from Winter.
Send us some WARM!
I’M DONE with my winter wardrobe. Such as it is. Sick and tired of the drab, dark neutrals. Over.It.
Now, October? By the time you arrive, Sweet October, I’m ready to snuggle into long-sleeve T-shirts and vests and encase my ugly toes inside my favorite clogs. Corduroys and turtlenecks mean warm, spiced & spiked cider and peppermint schnapps in hot chocolate. They mean bonfires and evergreens and NFL Sundays and turkey dinners and the excitement that comes with the promise of a Snow Day.
But April? By the time you get here, the Christmas tree has long since shriveled up, transformed into a flammable crisp. The palette has segued from the golden orange and flaming red and crisp brown of autumn into the cheerful yellow of forsythia and daffodils, the pastel pink of cherry blossoms and magnolia trees and dogwood, the soft colors of Peep-filled Easter baskets.
The Boys of Summer have returned to the baseball fields, for heaven’s sake!
And yet, April, your temperatures this year continue to require that I clad myself in the clothes that will keep my aging bones warm when I venture outside the warmth of my home:
For the love of all that is good and holy, April, I am all kinds of ready for flip-flops and capris, for short-sleeved tees and ball caps and sunscreen.
(Yes, I do. Shut up.)
Give me a reason to get a pedicure!
Fortunately, I can stop bitching tomorrow because the weather forecast promises a lovely weekend here in the mid-Atlantic. Finally, it may be time to vanquish the vest, box up the brown, and bust out the clothes that will expose a wee bit more of my (pasty, sunscreen-slathered) skin to the sun so as to maximize my Vitamin D.
Because nobody likes a girl with rickets.
Bitchy McBitchypants Soup