Difficult choices (and a giveaway, too)

It was Mother’s Day 2002 when I apparently pissed off God. “Oh yeah?” He said. “You think you’re so smart?  From now on, you will not be able to eat your favorite food!”

Unfortunately, I am a slow learner. It took me a while to get the message.

The scene: A backyard barbeque hosted by the neighbors across the street. The children ran amok as we lowered the parenting bar to safe-and-happy. We enjoyed drinks and repartee on the deck. It was springtime, a warm evening, and nearly one year after moving into our house, Curt and I were still pinching ourselves at our good fortune to have moved into This Neighborhood with these Awesome People!

The menu included jumbo shrimp and scallops, skewered and grilled. The food was delicious and the wine plentiful. Naturally, we ate too much and stayed too late.

I crashed in bed as soon as we got home, but my sleep didn’t last long. I awoke with a wicked bellyache, and it soon became obvious that something I ingested was going to have to exit my body in unusual fashion.

Have you ever been so sick that you were forced to make the difficult choice of whether to throw up in the toilet or sit on it?

Beat.

Beat.

I spent hours in the bathroom, deciding, while my husband snored, unaware of my plight. The next day, a poll of the dinner guests showed I was the only one afflicted with such misfortune.  But how could I have been the only one who ate a bad shrimp?

I soon recovered. Several weeks later, we hosted friends at our place for dinner.  Having forgotten all about my terrible experience, I served up shrimp and scallops with grilled veggies. It was yummy! But soon after our guests left?  Decision time again in the bathroom. Violent sickness.  Like the last time, I was the only one affected.

WTF??

After I recovered from that one, I figured that there must be more going on than simply bad luck. I swore off shrimp for good. Problem was, I still craved the stuff! After all, I was the girl whose go-to menu selection 90% of the time was fried shrimp. Shrimp helped get me through the induction phase of Atkins!

Fast-forward to Labor Day weekend. We were at a picnic. There was a bowl of shrimp salad. Yum,  shrimp! I took a big bite, and said to Curt, “Ooooh, try the shrimp salad, it’s really tasty!”

“SERIOUSLY?” He stared in disbelief. “Think about what you’re doing! That is SHRIMP!”

Oh. Right! Shrimp.

He had to pull over three times on the way home so I could throw up.

Clearly, a pattern was emerging.

I made an appointment with an allergist. He did those allergen tests on my back and said that, while it didn’t indicate a shrimp allergy, I may be mildly allergic to cashews and onions. Which I can assure you, I am NOT.

I have relatives who have an iodine allergy, the kind that makes your throat swell shut when you eat seafood. This is not what I have. I can still eat clams, mussels, and crabs.  (Thank goodness!) But I have not tried shrimp since the Dip Incident, nor scallops. I have also stayed away from lobster because, after all, isn’t that just like a Very Big Shrimp?

Bye-bye, jambalaya. So long, paella. See ya, scampi! No more bacon-wrapped scallops for me. Sweet & sour shrimp is off limits. Celebrating a special occasion with a nice grilled lobster tail, smothered in drawn butter? I’ll have the grilled chicken and a baked potato, please.

Alas, I am resigned to my fate. I had 34 good years with the culinary crustaceans. But if I could be granted three wishes, I would trade away two of them for just this one:

I wish I could eat shrimp again without suffering the consequences.

Hey, you know who makes good seafood? McCormick & Schmick’s, that’s who!  (Or so I hear, anyway.) I received an email from a publicist there, asking if I would be interested in giving away a $10 gift card. Coincidentally, they’ve just rolled out a 10-under-$10 lunch menu, that includes such items as Oregon Bay Shrimp and Angel Hair Pasta, a beer-battered cod sandwich, Coconut Shrimp Salad, and, for freaks like me, a Southwest Chipotle Chicken Salad Wrap.  They have locations in many states – check here to see if there’s one near you. 

Talk about difficult choices!

You can win a $10 gift card to McCormick & Schmick’s by leaving a comment on this post. Tell me this:  What strange food intolerances or allergies do you have? 

My immediate family is not eligible to win, so Curt, you may not share all about how you discovered your freakish chick pea allergy (or that girl we met who has the same thing).  If you are not married to me, then have at it!

Want to increase your odds of winning?

• Blog about this contest and link back to this post (leave a comment here) for one extra chance.
• Tweet with a link on Twitter (or retweet my Tweet) and leave a comment here with the URL for another chance.

Be sure to include your valid email address in the comment form (you don’t have to put it in the body of the comment, just in the form.)

Comments will be open till Friday May 15, 5:00 p.m. Eastern. I’ll randomly select a winner and announce over the weekend.