No one who knows me would include the adjective “neat freak” when attempting to describe me. Yet, despite my high threshold, even I have my limits. There is so much squalor in my life right now that I have decided to dedicate an entire page to it. Heck, it’s practically another family member. Behold, Squalor Corner. This is the area right next to the door that everyone uses to enter our house. It’s designed to be very organized with a special basket just for shoes and conveniently-placed coat hooks. But does it work? You decide. Clicky-click the link to take a self-guided tour of what I’m up against. Just don’t walk faster than the narrator or else it won’t make any sense at all.
UPDATED April 17:
You know how you get those web links that scroll above your Gmail inbox? Well, I read one that made me feel really, really good about my inability to keep up with all the filth in my home. Apparently, PJ O’Rourke says this: “Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.” I have to believe, then, that I am closer to godliness than most, because a quick tour of our home will not reveal a lot of cleanliness. Take, for example, the dog dish area, which is in the kitchen:
That white mat? It’s supposed to be over in the corner, where the Baja Fresh cup is. The dog nudges his bowl in order to push his kibble out of the bowl and onto the floor. But, he doesn’t actually eat any of the food that’s on the floor. He also slides the mat as he nudges his bowl. Sometimes kibbles end up in his water bowl, and if left there they start to smell really putrid.
NOw, Because I am self-policing, I have not included the floor-kibble in the Jar of Squalor, because if I had, the jar would have been filled thrice over since I began this inane exercise. There’s plenty of filth besides the dog food to dump in my little jar.
And let me clarify something: By most standards, our home is merely untidy. Filth and squalor are exaggerations. But, the terms represent my frustration with my inability to keep it all pristine. Someday, when WE get a wife? Maybe we’ll be able to eat off of our kitchen floor. Until then? Not a chance.
UPDATE AUGUST 27, 2008
THE EVOLUTION AND WRAP-UP OF THE GREAT JAR OF SQUALOR EXPERIMENT IS NOW AVAILABLE! Read all about it. (Sorry for shouting.)
This corner needs a mortgage bond