Hazleton, PA

Yesterday, I told you about our weekend frolicking in the slush drizzle winter weather last weekend in the greater Hazleton area.  I saved two photos to share today.  One is of the pretty bandstand located in the Hazle Township Community Park:

Bandstand at Hazle Comm Park

I can just picture the crowd on a warm June evening. Gray-haired bespectacled couples parked in lawn chairs. Dads wearing wife-beaters and sporting mullets. Moms trying to shush their children as the Elvis impersonator community band performs.

The other photo is of the sign that so warmly greeted us as we parked our car in the lot:

Hazle Park of NO

WELCOME TO OUR PARK! HERE'S A LIST OF STUFF YOU CAN'T DO! ENJOY YOUR VISIT AND PLEASE, COME AGAIN SOON!

What kind of welcome is that? A big list of NO's, with a bonus threat of a $300 fine OR JAIL? Do I get to choose which one?

We started calling this the Park of NO. Apparently, some of the Township's youth felt similarly scolded as they took aim at the sign with their paintball guns.

Dear Hazle Township: How about trying to sell your park's finer features first, like all those nice pavilions and the nifty band shell and that cool playground, too – and then including a gentle list of no-no's?

As I was composing this post, I looked up the Township's website so that I could link it to the bandstand photo. I will simply say this about the website: Go here and read the "Notices" printed in green, and tell me, do you think they were written by the same person?

It's all in the presentation, people.

11 thoughts on “Hazleton, PA

  1. That’s really an unusually-shaped and beautiful bandstand. (Sort of reminds me on a smaller scale of Wolf Trap, where I saw my husband, Harry Connick, Jr. sing all his songs to me. But I digress.)
    No, seriously, it sounds like you all (in spite of everything) had a great family get away.
    Did you go tubing? (And did Curt take pictures?)

  2. The Park of No….
    The Bridge from Hell….
    I’m beginning to wonder if this part of the country wasn’t designed by the same sick person with a very warped sense of humor. Or, an entire LACK of a sense of humor!

  3. Titanium – I know, right??
    CBW – yes, I see the echoes of Wolf Trap there. It’s so cute how you still have yourself convinced that Harry is your husband.
    Suz – do you know her??
    Noe Noe – You are absolutely right. There was no prohibition on that. Roll the keg on in – Alcohol is NOT prohibited!
    Auds – you could be right about that. Maybe we should move to the desert.

  4. At first glance I thought of the Tabernacle, sigh. I can’t wait to go back. Maybe this time we’ll bring an Elvis impersonator. He can mumble his way through The Rules for us.

  5. It does make one wonder why the city powers that be are so grumpy, doesn’t it? And the irony is that we’re laughing…..and they are completely serious. Reminds me of my 7th grade math teacher. Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy….and funny, funny, funny.

  6. Y’all, I know, it’s funny how seriously they seem to take themselves! The barking dogs must indeed be the scourge of Hazle Township. Foolery – I know, Tabernacle indeed. Or Wolf Trap, CBW, even though I know Harry was singin’ to ME, not you.

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