Duu Yuu Muumuu?

In follow-up to yesterday's post, a friend sent me a commiserating message. She, too, was bemoaning how her clothes don't fit like they used to. She joked that she had been shopping for muumuus. "Where does one shop for muumuus?" I asked, because how the heck would I know?, and she helpfully responded with this link from the Vermont Country Store. Because friends don't let friends… oh wait, that's not really appropriate here. We're enabling, not preventing.

After perusing the website, I would agree that the VCS is definitely the go-to purveyor of muumuus. They boast an extensive selection: 58 (fifty-eight!) different varieties of muumuus, caftans, loungers, "patio dresses" (?) and "floats" (??), in sizes small through 3X.

I know what you're thinking. "Why so many varieties?" Well, because how boring would it be if they were all black and brown? SNNNZZZ! But more than that, you're probably wondering what I am, which is small? They make small muumuus? Isn't that an oxymoron? Like jumbo shrimp?

Well, whatever the reason, it appears that muumuus are in great demand, and the VCS is responding to its savvy muumuu consumers' demands! As a value-added service to my seven readers, I present but a small selection, annotated with my snarky comments:

Square neck crinkled cotton float 
Behold, the square-neck crinkled cotton float (what's a float?) in slimming solid colors. Because you wouldn't want anyone to think you're trying to hide anything in there.

 Long and loose batik
Here we have the Long and Loose (hey, who're you calling loose?) Batik Muumuu: Unrestricting Fit with Flair. Flair is defined as "a uniquely attractive quality", and are you also thinking that this might be another oxymoron?

The coolest of all garments
This is Our Cotton Gauze Muumuu: The coolest of all garments. And D minor…is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.

Water Garden Muumuu 
The Water Garden muumuu cools and refreshes. So does a douche. Or a Miller Lite. (But in a different way, of course.)

Fancied up with embroidery
This cool, crisp chambray patio dress is "faniced up with embroidery." Because nothing says "fancy" like embroidery, and nothing can be "fancied up" quite like a patio dress. Which appears to be very much the same as a muumuu.

And, finally:

Polka-dot party lounger
The Polka-Dot Party Lounger Shows Off Your Fun Side! Oh, my. First of all, "party lounger" is yet another oxymoron. And second, I thought muumuus were designed to hide all of your sides!

Please, don't misunderstand.  I've nothing against the venerable muumuu or anyone who wears one. If that's what works for you, then great. But because mentally I am in 7th grade, the descriptions made me giggle. I mean, when you look at them all, it's pretty much all the same basic dress, just in different colors with slight variations in styling and trim. And if you're looking to buy one, you probably don't need to be "sold" on one versus the other.  You have outgrown all your "skinny clothes" so want a muumuu. You like red, and embroidery. (Fancy!) You need a size L, you put it into your cart and click "checkout." Done.

Wanna read more about muumuus on Wikipedia? Of course you do. You might learn something.

13 thoughts on “Duu Yuu Muumuu?

  1. Seriously.. I need to order about 10! UGH if I don’t get my large rear back in gear I am not showing up for Blogfest…
    Anyway.. back to the MuuMuu.. my first mother in law all she wore were MuuMuu’s I have no earthly clue where she purchased them she never left the town of Mathews that I can recall and we certainly didn’t have internet!
    Some of her MuuMuu’s were a bit old and see through in spots.. I called them her Sexy MuuMuu’s it was more like Scary but either way..
    Lord help me lose this weight I don’t want to wear a MuuMuu the rest of my living days.

  2. One of my relatives used to wear muumuus all the time. I secretly wanted one simply because of the name muumuu. Instead, I got a maxi, which at the time had no instant connection to a female personal hygiene item.

  3. Dear Lord, my mom wore one (a couple?) of these when she hit her mid-50’s. Her muu’s had a bit of crocheting around the sleeves and neck, maybe because it was the 70’s?
    I think I’ll get a Snuggie(leopard print) and belt it before I’ll succumb…
    (BTW, love this post)

  4. The nice thing about muumuus (yes, I have several) is that they don’t actually touch you anywhere,and you can eat as much as you please, and you don’t have to loosen a belt.

  5. I have already had this conversation with BHE. I’m thinking the lemon yellow or lime colors since I cant find one with WHALES on it!

  6. Oh, Mom, please tell me you’re joking.
    Noe Noe, you can’t beat the selection at Vt Country Store! Just let’s coordinate with BHE so we don’t all show up in the Party Lounger. How embarassing would THAT be?

  7. I took a picture of two ladies in matching muumuus at McDonald’s once. They were just exquisite. Ha! Loved this post! I just happened to find it for a muumuu post I am writing.

  8. Hi! That’s a funny title! lol I have never worn one, but my Grandma LOVES them! She calls them house dresses and all of the ones I have ever bought for her have been from a thrift store. Cheap and fashionable! ;-) I’m visiting from UV Skinz…I would love to speak with you further about the comment you made. Hope all is well!
    Kalisha

  9. Holy CRUD how did I miss this post originally? You made me laugh at every paragraph — you’re GOOD, Woman.
    I had to go to a recent comment I made on FB on a picture of my grandmother in her muu’muu: “one of Grandma’s many muu’muus. She wore them around the house beginning at Happy Hour, and her dressier ones with pearls and hosiery for going out. You learn habits like that when you move to Hawaii as an adult.” I’m lazy and didn’t want to retype.

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