Germophobic (or not)

I DIDN'T USED TO BE A GERMOPHOBE. But there is nothing like going into the hospital at the height of flu season and giving birth to a completely vulnerable baby human to make you freak the F**K out about germs. I couldn't get outta there fast enough.

Mostly, I'm pretty oblivious relaxed about germs. I mean, isn't it said that we all eat a full pound of dirt before we die? I'm ok with that; I'd drive myself crazy trying to completely sanitize my children's environment. Plus, I don't much like the smell of antibacterial gel.

That's how I happily roll along, until it's a slow news day and the local TV station does an expose about how hotels don't wash the bedspreads for weeks at a time and bar glasses are splattered with traces of feces. Or, I'll hear about a hook-like device that assists in in exiting a public restroom without having to touch the door. Or, I'll see someone using a napkin to protect her hand from the pole in the Metro car. And then I am jolted into remembering that IT'S A GERMY WORLD OUT THERE, PEOPLE!

It's a wonder we don't all die from the germiness of it all.

Anyway, I was poking around over at The Oatmeal – and if you don't read it, you should, because it's hilarious! – and I took a handy quiz to see how many germs are on my cell phone. I'm sure its methodology is firmly rooted in the scientific method and thus correctly calculated this:

How many germs live on your cell phone?

Created by Oatmeal

(Margin of error, plus or minus 1,000.)

GAH. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to scrub my phone with antibacterial wipes and douse my hands (and my left ear) with Purell! 

6 thoughts on “Germophobic (or not)

  1. I used to manage a hospital….and now I veer between unfazed and freaky about germs.. However, I can share with you that you need to keep your toothbrush at least six feet away from your toilet, because that’s how far teeny bits of practically invisible faecal matter can spray, when you flush.
    Good luck with that to those of us who have small bathrooms…

  2. You see? There’s another one. These things you just never think about are the things that will KILL YOU. Spraying toilet water! Who knew? Fortunately, my toilet is in a separate little room from my sink, so I think my toothbrush won’t be splattered by flush-spray. However, I can’t keep the stinkbugs from crawling all over it…

  3. I’m all for dirt/germs strengthening our immune systems, but far worse than your cell phone or toothbrush is the kitchen sponge (in my office). I can’t thrown those things away often enough, and I think my coworkers are convinced I have OCD.

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