I'M REALLY SORRY I PUT YOU IN AN AWKWARD POSITION earlier today when I visited your branch. The thing is, Angela, the last time I was in – remember, when Citibank threatened to freeze my dormant accounts unless I "used" them – I added just enough money just to keep them open. Because a girl never knows when she might need to have a bank account. You weren't charging me to have them, so I just…. kept them.
But then I noticed that my already low balance was… negative! And then I got a letter from Citibank telling me my accounts were "overdrawn" and I needed to visit a branch and pay the negative balance in order to "unlock" them. Which seemed funny, because I didn't have to visit a branch to open the accounts – Citibank did that for me for free when we transferred an equity line of credit there a few years ago.
So I called, Angela, but the frosty lady I spoke to when I phoned Citibank said she couldn't help me unless I deposited enough money to cover the negative $21.32 that your repeated fees caused, which could only be accomplished by visiting a branch. That's not your fault; it's policy, right? And it probably isn't your fault that the nice guy who met me at the door and asked me how he could help, couldn't. "I can't waive the fees, Ma'am," he said as he stared at his monitor. "Those are the rules."
"I'd like to speak with a manager, please," I replied.
Anyway, Angela, even though you didn't smile at me, you handled the transaction pretty well, considering how peeved I was when I walked into your branch. I simply stated that I'd be willing to let the whole thing go if you would just zero out the negative balance and close the accounts. You said you could do that! Unlike that nice guy who also works with you, you had the power to do something. And you did.
So thanks again, Angela, for your help today. Considering your bank was trying to tell me, in a greedy, passive-aggressive way, that they no longer wanted me as a customer, you were pretty nice about it. Even if you did make me wait 10 minutes while you queued up for the one teller working the window (who staffs only one teller at lunchtime??) to credit my account to wipe out the negative balance that was caused because Citibank decided they would rather have $60 of mine than my business.
Citibank got their wish, finally. Hey – you don't have to hit me between the eyes with it! You should have just come right out and asked me. Now you will have a lot more time to pay attention to your customers who actually USE their accounts. At least until they realize it's ROBBERY to charge $20 a month to maintain an account with a balance of less than $1,500.
I know when I'm not wanted. And now you know, Angela, why I have been a loyal customer of my credit union since the late 1990s. They don't charge me ridiculous fees. They're straight up with me; none of this "let's fee her to death till she figures out we no longer want her stupid little accounts" bullshit.
It's been real, Angela. Vaya con dios, Citibank.
Your Former Customer