More things I didn’t know I needed

IF YOU’RE LIKE ME, you’ve been laying in bed, night after night, fretting about how to best prep your fresh Brussels sprouts for cooking. Cutting them with a knife is so… hard. So inefficient. So old school. There must be a better way!

Well, it’s like my friends at Sur La Table were reading my mind when this gem appeared in my Facebook feed.

sprout twister
Three guesses… give up? Brussels Sprout Twister Gizmo: Sur La Table

You guys? The “Twist ‘n’ Sprout” solves a problem I didn’t know I had. All this time, I’ve been slicing them in half and using a regular paring knife to cut the bottom of the core away. Silly me!

Thus is the genius of marketing. Identify a fake problem, create something to “solve” it, give it a clever name, create a sleek how-to video, and sell millions.

I love Sur La Table. We’ve been to two cooking classes there, and both were great fun. The store is fabulous – I geek out over all things kitchen-related. But this seems to me like a gadget that would just take up space, getting pushed to the back and eventually lost, causing me to spend more time pawing through drawers looking for it than it would take to just pull a knife out and use it instead.

But Sur La Table’s marketing folks must think I’m a sucker for such things. They also served up the ad that led to this post about the “ironing system.”

Then again, I do keep clicking on their ads. I guess that means they win.  Well played, Sur La Table.

I didn’t know I needed this

THE INTERNET GODS sent me this ad:

Capture

It’s not just an ironing board, it’s an ironing system. A whole *system*! For pressing clothes! And it’s on sale for just $1,999! And it ships free!

They’re practically paying you to take it.

The product description begins:

Whether you’re ironing table linens or removing wrinkles from a cocktail dress…

OK, hold up. If you are the owner of a $2,000 ironing system, you probably aren’t ironing your own table linens. You’re sending them out, or you’re having the housekeeper do it. I can see maybe touching up one’s own cocktail dress, say if you forgot to ask your housekeeper to do that for you before she left for the evening. Or maybe if you can’t decide what to wear to that charity gala tonight and have searched the dark recesses of your second walk-in closet (the one with all your fancy clothes in it) and dig out something you haven’t worn a couple of years. It might have wrinkles that need removing. And in that case, you would be really happy this system is still set up in the laundry room. From when the housekeeper was ironing the cloth napkins. That is, if you can figure out how to use it:

This easy-to-use ironing system features an LCD display with user-friendly navigation.

In my experience, “easy-to-use” and “user-friendly” are code words for “plan on 20 minutes to view YouTube tutorials.” I can barely program my coffee maker to brew at some future time. If my ironing system has “navigation” it’s probably too complicated for me.

I know what you’re thinking: Will the B3312 model will deliver everything I want and need in an ironing system? Fear not: The manufacturer also offers the B3847 system for just $500 more. Because spending $2,499 on a glorified ironing board seems normal.

If ironing is your jam – or you are, say, a professional seamstress – an investment in a device such as this might make sense for you. But for the rest of us – those of us who even still *do* iron – isn’t a regular old ironing board and mid-level iron enough to successfully do most household jobs? For money like that, you could buy a whole lot of professional dry cleaning. Or, a couple of really nice new cocktail dresses. Even ones that aren’t on sale. And have cash leftover to bid on the silent auction items at that charity gala.

For more things you never knew you needed, here’s a link to that time I went to Williams-Sonoma and analyzed their Thanksgiving table display.

 

Dressing with my eyes closed

Hi, me again… just checking in to let you know that Soup Husband Curt returned by dinnertime tonight, and in typical guy fashion, I was grilling him for all the details and he was all, “um, yeah, it was good. Tiring but good…”  He did offer this nugget – he’s quite certain he chose well when he joined this new company recently.  So that makes it all worth it. Those of you who know him in real life know this has been a long time coming.

And by the way, remember how he plays ice hockey? Well, his team’s in the playoffs again this year. In fact, he played last night, and they won, which means they get to play again Wednesday night! Isn’t that awesome? Go Men of Steel!

Remember how I wrote that Sunday night I couldn’t remember if I took a Tylenol PM? Well tonight, I most assuredly remember taking one about 20 minutes ago and I’m about to go niteynite. Because my incoherence is imminent, as is the likelihood that my fingers will soon cease to function, why don’t you pop over to The Well Read Hostess and read about her work wardrobe dilemma? Despite never having met, it seems that she and I have lots in common, what with our work wardrobes consisting of mainly black pants. Mine also includes some – get this! – brown pants… but other than that, it’s pretty idiot-proof in that everything mixes and matches because it’s all variations of the same color.  As in, you can dress in the dark with one eye closed before inserting your contact lenses and/or drinking coffee, and you’re pretty much guaranted to “match.” Go check her out, leave her a comment, tell her Meg at “Soup”  sent you over because she took a Tylenol PM.