Irreverent (imaginary) Tweets

HERE ARE SOME THINGS I MIGHT HAVE TWEETED this morning while sitting in the choir loft at my church, through not one but two morning services. This happens from time to time, on Big Church Sundays, that the choir is asked to sing during both services. Most of the time, this isn't a big deal and I manage just fine. But today, well, my head just wasn't in the game. Especially the second time around. This might be the Dirty Little Secret of choir members: We may look all pious and reverent, sitting up there in our matching robes, but don't assume we are all always completely engaged in what goes on around us.

Lucky for you, I didn't have my Blackberry, so I scrawled these notes on my bulletin.  As I sat quietly and tried to listen to everything. TWICE. (I know. This could mean I'm going straight to hell.)

Can someone pass me a Sudoku, maybe, or a crossword?

Can't believe I'm thinking this: I would rather be doing laundry.

SING IT, people! With enthusiasm!

Wait; that doesn't make any sense. Can you repeat that?

Hey, folks in the back! There are plenty of good seats left up here in the front! Good views of attractive singers!

If I close my eyes, maybe they'll just think I'm praying, or meditating. Won't they?

Hey, Man in the front row, WAKE UP! No fair you can sleep and I can't.

STORE LIST: Milk, bread, eggs, pepperoni, dog food, apples, fish sticks, Diet Coke, something for dinner…

What would YOU have Tweeted this morning, in church or otherwise?

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I don't often check my site analytics because I'm not all that hung up on my numbers. However, the search terms are fascinating! So, If you are the person who landed here by searching "tetanus from can of soup", "shit soup", "breast torture interrogation" or "fun finger food hat", I apologize, for I'm sure you didn't find here what you were expecting. Please refine your search terms and try again.

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One year ago today: I shared a cool postcard from Brigantine, NJ from the late 1960s. Commenters left some hilarious caption suggestions!